Baseball One Liners to Get You Through the Season

From the fun to the corny, we’ve rounded up some of the best baseball one-liners to help get you through the season. From the loveable Los Angeles Dodgers to the Boston Red Sox we’ve got you covered.

Jokes

Here are some baseball one liners to get you through the season:

-Why couldn’t the baseball player stand up? Because he was struck by a pitch!

-Why don’t umpires like cold weather? Because they’re afraid of being iced out!

-Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the ballgame!

-How do you know a baseball player is happy? He’s whistling at his bat!

Puns

Whether you’re a baseball lover or just looking for a way to make it through another game, these baseball one liners are sure to get a laugh. From jabs at umpires to comments about players, these puns will have you rolling.

-Why don’t umpires like earwigs? Because they always get hit by foul balls!
-Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to first base!
-Why don’t we play baseball in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
-Why did the coach go to the therapist? Because he was having catcher’s interference!
-How do you throw a space man out? You planetary!

One-liners

“Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical.” -Yogi Berra

“It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up.” -Babe Ruth

“There are three types of baseball players those who make it happen, those who watch it happen, and those who wonder what happened.” -Tommy Lasorda

Funnies

Whether you’re a player, coach, or just a fan, these baseball one liners are sure to get you through the season.

-I umpired a marathon and I was surprised how many people cheated.

-You know it’s hot outside when the squirrels are roasting peanuts on the power lines.

-My dentist told me I needed a crown. I was like, “I know, right?”

-I invented baseball cards You collect them all and then you throw them away.

-I’m not comfortable with comfort zones. But I am comfortable with uncomfortable silences during conversations.

-Why does somebody believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

-Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?

Humor

The baseball season is long, and sometimes you need a little help to get through it. Here are some baseball one-liners that will help you do just that.

-Izenberg: I was talking to Bob Uecker the other day and he said the hardest thing about catching is throwing the ball back to the infield.

-Groucho Marx: I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.

--Rickey Henderson on being asked why he stole so many bases: Because I looked around and saw that I had more talent than anybody else.

--Yogi Berra when asked for directions: When you come to a fork in the road, take it.

-Leo Durocher, on umpires: They’re not human beings, they’re umpires.

Laughter

Is there anything more American than baseball? spending a summer afternoon at the ballpark with a hot dog and a cold beer, cheering on your favorite team Baseball has been a part of our culture for generations, and it shows no signs of slowing down anytime soon.

But let’s face it, sometimes baseball can be a little…boring. That’s where these baseball one-liners come in! Whether you’re a casual fan or a die-hard devotee, these jokes will help you get through even the most tedious game. So next time you find yourself struggling to stay awake during that late-night West Coast game, try out one of these gems:

-Why don’t umpires like instant replay? because it’s too much pressure to make the right call twice.-Why did the chicken cross the diamond? To get to first base!-How do you throw a space shuttle? You don’t, you orbit it!-Why did the batter cross the road? To get to first base!-How do you keep a Mookie Betts from stealing second base? You put him in jail!

Quotes

Here are some of our favorite baseball one-liners to get you through the season.

“Baseball is ninety percent mental, the other half is physical.” – Yogi Berra

“If you don’t like baseball, you don’t like America.” – Author Unknown

“It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up.” – Babe Ruth

“Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer.” – Ted Williams

“There are three types of baseball players those who make it happen, those who watch it happen, and those who wonder what happens.” – Tommy Lasorda

“Baseball is like church. Many attend but few understand.” -Leo Durocher

“God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who knows both hands and requires you to bet without knowing yours.” -Neal Stephenson

Sayings

Here are some sayings that will help you get through the season:

-There’s no crying in baseball.
-If you build it, they will come.
-It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game
-Take me out to the ball game
-Root, root, root for the home team
-This is the year!

Wise words

No one ever said Wing Baseball was easy. In fact, some of the game’s greatest minds have devoted their lives to understanding the delicate balance between hitter and pitcher, and even they can’t quite put their finger on it. So, as we enter another season of America’s pastime, let’s take a moment to appreciate the men and women who have devoted their lives to making sense of this great game Here are some of their wisest words:

“Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical.” -Yogi Berra

“It ain’t over till it’s over.” -Yogi Berra

“You can observe a lot just by watching.” -Yogi Berra

“Baseball is slow motion to me.” -Sandy Koufax

“It’s unbelievable how much you don’t know about the game you’ve been playing all your life.” – Mickey Mantle

Witty remarks

Here are some quick and witty one liners related to baseball to help get you through the season!

-I’m not saying that baseball is easy, but it’s a lot easier than it looks. -Sparky Anderson

-Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical. -Yogi Berra

-Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become. -Mary McGrory